Why go to a photographer called Wolf?
   Because I take my time with you. Because I take you seriously, and I don't care wether you're famous or infamous. Because I enjoy what I do. And because, actually, I'm pretty good.

But your name isn't really Wolf is it.
   Yes it is.

Do you do colour shots as well?
   I shoot in colour, and create a b/w version of it later. I automatically supply you with both a black&white and a colour version.

Daylight or studio lights? Inside or outside?
   Almost all shots I take are done using daylight - inside by a window and outside under the open heavens.

If your name really is Wolf, are you scary?
   No, I'm lovely.

Why do you not include prints with your package?
   Because a lot of my clients either don't require a print, or want their shots printed by a specific lab.  I can strike up a working relationship with one lab, but not with 20.  So instead, I let you have the high-resolution image so you can get it printed anywhere you like.

Where would Wolfie get the pictures printed?
   Wolfie would go to Michael Dyer Ltd.  Best lab in town.  Best quality 10x8s anywhere in London.  I send your shots there automatically for your convenience, but you may take them to any other lab if you prefer.

Do you look like a wolf?
   I don't think so - here are some shots of me.

How long will it take?
   Anything between 2-4 hours.

May I bring my mother/ my body-guard?
   We work alone, but I am very, very happy for themto deliver you to my door and take a good look at me to make sure I had breakfast and won't devour you. Then they have to go and sit in a café and read "Horse and Hound". Meanwhile, you and I can focus on the session without distractions. This is entirely in your interest, as even your best friend with the best intentions will diffuse your focus.

But I'm under 18, my mum has to come with me.
   I am really sorry, but you have to go to another photographer. Strictly noone under the age of 18.

Real photographers have testimonials on their website.
  I am not a real photographer. If you want a testimonial, look through my gallery and look for someone you know and call them (or twitter them, or whatever it is people do these days).

Do you howl at the moon?
   I poke the moon on facebook. I also talk a lot in my sleep.

I noticed there's a musical on in the west-end called 'wolf boy'. Coincidence?
   You be the judge.

I hate being photographed
   No you don't. You hate looking at horrible shots of yourself. I'd hate to look at horrible shots of you too. Which is why I take nice ones. So then we can look at them together, cooing excitedly.

So you don't have testimonials.  OK.  But you also don't have a blog, you don't have a twitter feed and to add insult to injury, I can't "like" you on facebook.  Also, nowhere on the site do you state that you are a "professional" photographer with "years of experience", and you don't actually promise to capture "the real me".
   Yes.

A friend tells me you don't have a wind machine in your studio.
  Damn, the embarrassing truth is out.

You made that one up.
  I sort of almost didn't.

I bet you couldn't take a meaningful headshot of a cat
   Funny you should ask. Take a look at this handsome fella. His name is Fatty. He said he enjoyed the experience with me, and he's even planning to come back for some more just as soon as he found himself an agent.

If you talk in your sleep, don't you wake yourself up?
   Absolutely I do. I wake up saying words like "Shnizelfloomens" and nobody is any the wiser, least of all me. Last year I woke myself up laughing, though I could not remember what I dreamt. And only yesterday, I was apparently punching the air, shouting: "It's only a fairytale!"

Can you retouch me so I look like Kate Moss/ Mao Tse-Tung / the way I loooked ten years ago?
   Yes. But believe it or not, the shot has to look like you. I can do wonders on the computer - change the shape of your nose, your eye colour... but do you really want to walk into a casting where your picture looks better than you? No you don't. Of course I'll zap any blemishes on the computer.

I have several more Wolf questions
   Fabulous. Save them for when you come to my studio. Otherwise we won't have anything to say to each other, and we'll spend hours in awkward silence as I take your headshots with you looking sullen and austere.

When you don't do headshots, what do you do with yourself?
   Every morning, I look in the mirror, show my teeth, and growl. Then I say: "Who's the Wolf then, eh, who's the Wolf!?"   In the evening, I look in the mirror again and I marvel at how working all day makes me look younger and more handsome. I hold a little jar against my temple and try and bottle up a little bit of 'essence of wolfish thinking'. This I sell to gullible French tourists.
  I can keep myself endlessly amused like that. But when I run out of things to say to myself, I photograph comedians for a book; I write silly things; I play the piano, and of course I plot world-domination.

I just discovered there's an animal called 'wolf'. Were you named after this 'wolf' animal?
   It's a bit of a chicken and egg question. But probably the species was named after me.

Do you do model portfolios?
   No. If you think you have what it takes, go and see model agencies. If you are going to cut it as a model, they will take you on. You don't need to have "professional shots". Reputable agencies will send you out to tests with photographers they trust. You will not have to pay anyone, apart from stuff like expenses for prints maybe. Never pay an agency to take you on; and paying someone to take flattering shots of yourself won't guarantee modelling work for you - though of course it might be a fun thing to do and a good experience. This website has a list of the main UK model agencies:
  whoistesting.com